Confessions of a Recovering Procrastinator

Getting Things Done

2010-09-18T21:27:00.002-05:00

I recently re-read an organization book that still intrigues me, Getting Things Done by David Allen. The book is already a classic and its productivity methods have spawned a multitude of websites devoted to all things GTD. Some people seem to be obsessive-compulsive about GTD, especially the technology crowd. In a way, some of the websites I’ve seen remind me of the Star Trek “Trekkie” crowd in their freaky devotion to the method.

Freakiness aside, I have to admit that for the normal working mom there’s a lot of common sense in the GTD system. Here are the basic steps:

Collect – This is a fancy way of saying “write everything down.” And boy, does Mr. Allen mean everything. The whole point of GTD is to capture every single task that you need to do now or ever want to do in the future into one place. That way, your brain isn’t constantly stuffed full of “I need to” or “I want to” thoughts. (My personal thought is that this collection process is very similar to the list that Rita Emmitt suggests in her book, The Procrastinator’s Handbook.)

Process – In other words, go through all the stuff on your list and decide what you’re going to do about each item. Basically, you’ll either decide that things are still relevant or no longer worth completing. If a task will take less than 2 minutes, you just do it on the spot. If it will take longer, it stays on the list.

Organize – This step forces you to categorize your tasks and decide what the next action on each project should be. The next action concept has been helpful to me. Sometimes I really want to do things but procrastinate because the project seems overwhelming. Breaking things down into smaller steps somehow makes things seem more manageable.

Review – I must admit, so far I’m a failure at this step. To keep the GTD system working, it’s imperative to go over your whole list at least once a week and track your progress on each item. I’m getting better at collecting, processing, and organizing, but I let things slip through the cracks because I don’t keep track of where I’m at on all my projects. I pretty much procrastinate on my weekly review until things go so haywire that I have to start all over again at step one – collect.

Do – Alas, this step sounds so simple yet is so hard. I love to READ about doing things, and THINK about doing things, and PLAN to do things. I don't always love to DO THINGS, though.

The goal of the GTD system is to develop a concrete to-do list that you can refer to at any given time. Of course, as a procrastinator, knowing what to do isn’t the hard part. Getting myself to actually do what I need to do sometimes feels like mission impossible.

Of course, this is a drastic oversimplification of the GTD system. If you’re interested, the book is worth your time. Or if you want to read all about it for free, there’s an overwhelming amount of information on the internet devoted to all things GTD.

Happy collecting/processing/reviewing/and most importantly - DOING!

2008-12-31T16:23:00.007-06:00

I’ve spent some time this week looking back over 2008. Last January, I set myself three specific goals: get organized, clean up my house, and send family birthday cards on time. I have to admit, the birthday card thing went by the wayside early in the year. For the most part, though, I’m happy with what I’ve accomplished. My house is in much better shape than it was last year at this time. My office is reasonably organized. I’m learning to make lists and track my commitments on paper instead of relying on my overburdened brain cells. I admit that things aren’t perfect, but the improvements I’ve made are starting to accumulate.

I realized today that I love the end of the year. This is a season of joy and promise, a time to make crazy resolutions and promises to improve myself. Like most people, I’m thinking about making a new set of resolutions for the coming year. Before I commit to anything, though, I want to share what I learned in 2008:

Don’t let “things” rule your life. During the past year, I have learned that if I don’t control my stuff, then it will control me. I was constantly berating myself, even though the negative feelings should have been aimed at my overstuffed cabinets, crammed closets, and junky drawers. In the past few months, I’ve sold, given away, or donated literally hundreds of items, from clothes to dishes to Christmas decorations. And do you know what? I’m less stressed out and much happier with myself, and I can’t think of a single thing that I miss.

Control what comes into your house. I’ve learned to stop and think about things before I even buy them. Do I really need the item? Do I have room to store it? If I decide to take it home, I make sure to have an appropriate storage location and container planned in advance. Above all, I’ve learned how important it is to control junk mail, newspapers, and magazines. Just because the post office delivers handfuls of clutter to my house every day, nobody says I have to keep it.

Be patient but persistent. As much as I might want to make a change, I have to keep in mind that everything takes time. My house was a disaster zone, but it had taken years to achieve that level of slobbiness. There was no way I was going to change overnight, no matter how hard I tried. Putting my life and my house back in order has taken me months, and while I’m nowhere near done, I have made an awful lot of progress.

If you mess up, don’t give up. Just like bad habits form over time, new habits take a while to develop. If I find myself slipping back into my old, bad habits, I don’t immediately give up on myself like I used to. Instead, I ask myself what went wrong, what can I learn from this mistake? Then I make an adjustment if necessary and move forward with a positive attitude.

What have you learned this year? I'd love to hear...
Happy New Year, everybody!

Am I Hard-Wired to Crave Organization?

2008-11-01T21:41:00.015-05:00

I’ve been attending mandatory training this week as part of my recent promotion. One of the instructors, Bill Jeffries, gave an interesting presentation about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). I’ve read about personality testing before and have always been skeptical of anybody who claims to be able to predict human behavior. At first, the MBTI profiles sounded sort of like the Zodiac signs. Ever notice how a billion people read the same horoscope in the morning, but no two people have exactly the same day? However, I actually learned a little about myself during Mr. Jeffries’ class.

As it turns out, I’m an ISTJ, one of the most dutiful and boring of all the 16 personality types. Well, maybe I’m being a little hard on myself. Here’s a report summarizing the ISTJ personality: http://www.geocities.com/lifexplore/istj.htm

For me, the most eye-opening quote in the whole profile is this: ISTJs “pride themselves on their organization, yet often think it is still not quite good enough.”

Well, well, well. The whole point of this blog is that I’m trying to get better organized and I’m not getting it done to my satisfaction. Hmmm. Now that I’m armed with this new level of self-awareness, what will change? Not much, probably. But at least I know why procrastination and disorganization drive me crazy.

I found a test on the internet that gave me a similar result as the one from class. Here’s a link, if you’d like to give it a try: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

I’d love to hear what your profiles are. After all, if you’re bothering to read this blog, you and I must have something in common. Are we just hard-wired to crave organization? Will anything we accomplish ever be good enough to make us happy?

Get a Card Cubby (and Save a Little Piece of Your Sanity)

2008-10-31T18:16:00.009-05:00

Isn't it funny how the simplest inventions can sometimes make the biggest difference in your life? I stumbled across an advertisement for the Card Cubby in a national magazine a few weeks ago and ordered one on a whim. I've been using it for over a month now and I absolutely love it.

What in the world is a Card Cubby, you ask? Well, it's sort of a cross between a wallet and a file sorter. It has plenty of room to hold not only credit cards, but also frequent shopper cards, blood donor cards, insurance cards, business cards, prepaid phone cards - you name it. Everything gets filed in alphabetical order and is immediately accessible at a moment's notice.

Imagine stopping by the deli to grab lunch and being able to present your frequent diner card to be stamped. Or remembering to spend that gift card from last Christmas because it was filed neatly away under the store name. Or being able to get 50% off your dry cleaning bill because you kept up with the coupon from the Sunday paper. Woo hoo, it doesn't take much to make a crazy working mother happy, does it?

Do yourself a favor - buy yourself a Card Cubby. And guys, remember that Christmas is coming up. At only $24.95, a Card Cubby is an inexpensive gift that your wife, mother, or sister would appreciate for years to come.

To see what I'm talking about, go to www.cardcubby.com and enter code number CC209 for a 10% discount. You'll be glad you did!

Need Help Focusing?

2008-09-26T19:51:00.012-05:00

As you can tell by the length of time since my last post, I haven't been writing for a while. Not for fun, anyway. I have to write at my day job, but sometimes I just can't concentrate, no matter how hard I try. Maybe it has something to do with being a sleep-deprived, 42-year old working mother of a 4-year old?

One day a few weeks ago, I was surfing the web looking for something, ANYTHING, that would help me focus on the report I was writing. I stumbled across this interesting website that advertises music that can stimulate your brain, raise your IQ, and help you acheive peak mental performance. All this, and it’s LEGAL.

I read everything on the website and decided it looked at least pseudo-scientific. Classical Music has always been believed to stimulate the brain, but this music has been infused with tones and pulses that act on the brain to create specific brainwave patterns. Through sound, the brain is essentially coaxed into different patterns to help with concentration, relaxation, creativity, even sleep.

It sounded wonderful, but the price tag seemed high and I didn’t buy it. Armed with a little knowledge, I surfed around and found that someone named Dr. Jeffrey Thompson was famous for producing similar music CDs. You can probably tell by now that I'm an endlessly curious creature who loves to dabble with new things. I decided I had to try it, so at lunch I threw caution to the wind and drove over to the local Barnes and Noble.

That afternoon, I popped the discs into my computer, plugged in my headphones, and starting writing. The music seemed distracting at first, but I kept plugging away. When the CD ended I realized I’d been writing non-stop for almost an hour. The rest of the afternoon, I kept up my concentration and finished the report in record time. I hadn’t been that focused in a long, long time.

Placebo effect, you ask? Maybe, but the thing is, the music still works for me. So much so that I’ve bought several more selections. I’m being sincere when I say that the music helps me, especially when I’m writing. I can slowly go from being a fuzzy-headed, coffee-swilling mess to a writing machine. Sometimes when I close my eyes and concentrate on how my body feels, I think I can feel the music pulses inside my brain.

I know, I know, I sound like a kook. But if you’re an of-a-certain-age woman like me, who’s willing to acknowledge that you need a little mental help, you might think about trying out one of these music CDs. What do you have to lose?

Passwords Multiply Like Rabbits

2008-07-06T14:02:00.013-05:00

Wow, over a week has gone by since my last post. It's amazing how time flies. Just saying that reminds me of my grandmother. She always told me that time goes by faster when you're old. Guess what, Granny? I'm officially old.

In my last post I discussed my overwhelming e-mail situation. Have I made progress? Let's see...675 items in the inbox, 261 unread. Hey, it's less than I had last time. Progress is happening, slowly but surely.

My next quest is to find a way to organize all the passwords in my life. Ever notice how passwords seem to multiply like rabbits? At last count, I had 26 separate logins and passwords at work. Mind you, those are only for work related systems. I shudder to think how many more I have for personal accounts. Banking, blogging, photo sites, credit cards, you name it. How many more can I possibly get?

Of course, everybody says to never write down a password. Ha! Who besides Rainman could every remember everything? It's just not humanly possible, at least not for me. Plus, if I ever die, my husband is absolutely screwed. He won't even know what accounts I have, much less what needs to be canceled when I'm gone.

I'm thinking about writing everything down in a notebook, but then what? If somebody breaks in and steals the book, they've basically stolen my life. There are also computer programs that allege to keep track of everything, but I've gone down that rabbit trail already. Those programs are great right up until you change a password on something. After that, you have to go through the 30 minutes of stress trying to figure out how to update the password program. I mean, who has time for that?

I guess good old pencil and paper work best for me. I've got a lock on my desk drawer, after all. Or maybe a password-protected file on my computer? Then what if my computer crashes or gets hacked? Aargh! Does anybody have any good ideas?

Stop the E-mail Insanity!

2008-06-23T20:25:00.011-05:00

Ever feel like you're drowning in e-mail? I know I do. Right now, my personal e-mail account has 1959 items in the inbox, and 1015 are marked 'unread.' No, I'm not kidding. Not only do I get 'normal' spam, but I've also signed up for too many newsletters to ever read.

I've been reading a lot of articles lately about how to deal with out-of-control e-mail. At least I'm not alone in my misery. Thousands, probably millions, of people have the same problem that I have. As if junk snail mail wasn't enough to deal with, technology has given us cyber-junk to handle.

For some reason, I find that hitting the delete key is painful. I think it's just a variation of whatever makes me clutter up my house. The things that go through my mind are: Will I need this again? What if somebody asks me about it and I didn't actually READ it? Maybe I'll use this 25%-off coupon before it expires. Maybe I'll actually have time to read this newsletter someday. I'm reminded of Susan Powter - Stop the Insanity! I've got to put my e-mail on a diet.

As I've discussed before, my professional life and my personal life have a big old line down the middle. Never the two shall meet and all that. At the office, I'm working on developing a workable e-mail plan. My work account is whittled down to about 40 messages in my inbox. Trust me, this is an improvement. The most important change I've made is a folder that I call Delete in a Month. I figure if I haven't touched it in a month, I won't need it again. Things that have a short expiration date go into this folder, like an invitation to a coworker's retirement party or a scheduled meeting that's coming up. At the beginning of each month, I'm deleting anything that's over 30 days old.

I've also set up folders for specific topics. This one is relatively easy, since we use case numbers for different projects. If I need to find something about a specific case, I know where to look. I'm not quite sure about when I'll delete this stuff. It'll probably be on a case-by-case basis, so to speak. But at least my messages will be sorted into some coherent order.

E-mails about organizational policy get saved into a regular folder called Personnel. Messages about how to book travel, fill out payment vouchers, or other administrative matters go into my Personnel folder. It might not make sense to everybody, but it works for me. And isn't that the point, to get MYSELF organized?

I'm always left with odds and ends, which I've decided to deal with by simply archiving my messages. In either a year or six months, I'll go back and delete anything that's old and irrelevant. Yes, my plans are nebulous, but at least I'm trying.

At home, though, I'm still running amok and completely out of control. I have months-old messages that I haven't even looked at. Why am I keeping them? I just can't explain it, even to myself.

What systems do you have to deal with e-mail? I'd love to hear your tips!

Making a List, Checking it Twice!

2008-06-18T20:15:00.007-05:00

Photo from "jek in the box" on Flickr!

How many tasks, large and small, do you think you need or want to do? I’m talking about everything from loading the dishwasher to sorting out five years worth of vacation photos to taking a trip to Alaska. Do you think you have 101 things floating around in your head that you want to do someday? I know I did.

In The Procrastinator’s Handbook, Rita Emmett suggests writing down 101 things that you need or want to do. When I read that, it sounded like a ludicrous suggestion. But I was a desperate person, so I decided to try it. On January 1, I sat down at my computer, opened up an Excel spreadsheet and started to brainstorm. Before I knew it, all sorts of ideas were popping into my head. I was down to item 73 before I even had to stop and think. It took another day or two, but I ended up with a list of 101 things to do, plus a few more.

My list included things like getting my Christmas stockings embroidered, buying tape for my P-Touch label machine, and buying a lumbar support pillow for my computer chair. It also contained bigger tasks, like cleaning out closets, balancing my checkbook, and keeping a journal. The journal idea morphed into Confessions of a Recovering Procrastinator. If I hadn’t written it down, I doubt I would have ever written a word, much less learned how to set up a blog.

Writing down all the things I wanted to do was an eye-opening experience. I found that I have all sorts of goals, big and small, but I wasn’t doing much to accomplish them. Looking at my spreadsheet, which I gave the scintillating title of “My List for 2008,” made me realize just how big a procrastinator I really am. Instead of loading me up with guilt, though, seeing the list in writing actually gave me some motivation to get things done.

I can’t say that I’ve completely changed my procrastinating ways, but I’ve made a lot of progress this year. I’ve crossed off almost half my list, and the year is only halfway over. I think some of my goals were a little lofty for one year, but I think I can finish them all in two. In fact, it’s probably time for me to crank out another list. I don’t want to get so bogged down in finishing the first 101 things that I let another 101 stack up on me.

Try writing down your to-do list and aim for 101 things. I think you’ll be surprised at what you see on the paper. You’ll be even more surprised at how good you feel when you start crossing them off the list!

For more of Rita Emmett's procrastination-beating ideas, check out her book:

Heaven Looks Like A Clean Purse

2008-06-16T20:16:00.007-05:00

Well, maybe I exaggerate. But I did find a heavenly organizer for my purse. It's called a Purseket, and you kind of have to see one to understand. It's an insert with a variety of pockets that you load up and drop into your purse. Everything fits in the insert - it has compartments perfectly sized for cell phones, wallets, even makeup. Imagine being able to find your car keys without having to dump everything on the ground! Even better, to change handbags, all you have to do is pull out the insert and pop it into another bag. Voila - you're done!

I wish I'd had a Purseket when my daughter was a baby. It would've been so wonderful to have baby wipes, pacifiers, and all the other paraphernalia at my fingertips. Right now I'm using a large Purseket in my humongous Coach purse/briefcase. I can look down into the bag and see everything - nothing is buried on the bottom!

Take a look for yourself:
Purseket - The Purse Organizer!

Taming the Junk Mail Monster

2008-06-11T20:16:00.007-05:00

Even though I give myself a hard time, I have made a lot of progress in changing my habits. One way I’ve improved my life is by learning how to manage my incoming mail. Thanks to a tip I found in Marcia Ramsland's book , Simplify Your Time: Stop Running and Start Living, I’ve finally got the mail monster under control.

In the old days, I used to walk from the mailbox to the kitchen and drop everything into a pile on the table. My logic was that I would have more time to deal with it on the weekend. Therefore, instead of relaxing on Saturday, I always had a face huge amount of paperwork.

Here’s what happened in the back of my mind: big pile of mail = boring = hard work = dread = procrastination. To top it off, I always had an unsightly pile of mail in my kitchen. I frequently missed deadlines and lost important paperwork. When my husband started his home business, our junk mail multiplied and spun completely out of control.

Marcia Ramsland’s Personal Organizing Center sounded like a good idea, so I decided to try it. I took stock of my habits and realized that I always seem to take the mail to the kitchen. Why not put my mail center where I would actually use it?

I bought a pretty file box that blended into my kitchen décor and put it on the counter. Then I got some expandable file folders and labeled them with Marcia’s suggested categories. After using the system for a few months, I’ve modified the categories to suit my needs. My current files are labeled: File, Shred, Information, Business, and Kid’s Artwork.

Using my Personal Organizing Center goes something like this:

I open the mail and immediately put bills and things that need attention into my planner. (My search for the perfect planner is a topic for a future post.)

I use internet banking and have a lot of bills set up on auto-pay. However, I need to keep things like credit card statements and utility bills for my husband’s home-based business taxes. Those kinds of papers go into the Business folder or the File folder and eventually get filed away properly.

Empty envelopes and junk mail go straight into the recycle bin. Anything with personal identity information gets stashed in the Shred folder. When the folder gets full, I shred it all at one time and start over.

Anything else I want to keep usually goes into the Information folder. To me, this category is for coupons, restaurant menus, advertisements for various services – basically, anything I might use in the near future. Every so often I purge this file to keep it at a manageable size.

My four-year old brings home a lot of art work from daycare, so I’ve made an Art Work folder. I normally throw her school papers in the trash when she’s not looking, but every once in a while I want to keep one. I’m selective about what I put into this folder because I know I can’t keep everything, but some things are special. At least I have a place to stash them until they go into a scrapbook someday.

I’ve been using this system for several months and it’s worked beautifully for me. My afternoons are hectic, but now it only takes a few minutes to go through the mail and get it organized. The folders aren’t very big, but I can easily go two or three weeks before I have to clean them out. In the meantime, I can find things and there’s not an unsightly stack of mail sitting on the kitchen table.

The best thing about my Personal Organizing Center is that it’s customized just for me. I’ve adjusted it to fit my lifestyle and I actually enjoy using it every day. My bills are paid on time and I can find important paperwork when I need it. In general, I feel a little better about myself.

That’s what organizing is all about, right?

FOCUS: Achieving Your Highest Priorities

2008-06-09T12:03:00.004-05:00

All of the Covey programs begin by asking you to list your basic values. The second step is to apply your values to the different roles you play in life. I’ve been thinking about mine for a while now. Here they are:

Mother: I am a patient, nurturing mother who teaches my daughter to be independent, creative, and compassionate.

Wife: I am a supportive wife who acts as a partner with my husband in life

Writer: I am a dedicated writer who is prolific, successful, and confident

Coworker: I am a helpful, friendly, loyal coworker who does not backstab or try to get ahead at the expense of others

Friend: I will make friends and trust others again. I will relearn how to share my thoughts and feelings with others.

You’ll no doubt notice the Friend category is a little cautious. I got burned by my best friend over ten years ago and I haven’t recovered yet. I think it’s about time I got over it! I’ve forgiven her and tried to make amends, but there are situations that friendship just can’t survive.

I actually have many other roles in life: daughter, sister, church member, etc. However, these are the five roles that most define me, so these are my fundamental values that I’m trying to live every day. I’m going to structure my recovery from procrastination around these core ideals.

What roles do you play in life? What are your core values? It’s worth thinking about…

Procrastination Sucks!

2008-06-07T22:15:00.002-05:00

Okay, I've been procrastinating about not procrastinating! I've been trying to do better, but do you know what - for me, procrastination and depression seem to go hand-in-hand. Am I the only one? I don't have the crazy-kill-my-husband-and-myself kind of depression. No, mine is more insidious, at least to me. I just don't want to do anything at all.

Could it really be that we procrastinators are really high-achieving, intelligent, depressed people? Maybe so.

HOWEVER - I have made progress on at least one front. My master bedroom has been a disaster since the day we moved into this house over 3 years ago. In the past month, when I haven't been BLOGGING, I managed to: buy a new bed, buy a cool new clock, and order a waaay cool filing cabinet.

I'm tired of my master bedroom being the shit pit of the house. Hello, I know some of you know what I'm talking about. Other people see my living room, dining room, even my kid's room, but I can shut the door to my own room - recognize yourself, anyone?

So anyway, if anybody cares, I’m plugging along.

NO MORE WHINING!

2008-04-30T20:26:00.004-05:00

Welcome to Day One of FOCUS:

I've got my plan in place. I’m starting to fuse everything together that I’ve been learning the last couple of months. Each of the “teachers” I’ve read have had useful suggestions and I’m slowly learning to implement them. For instance, it’s already become a habit to lay out my daughter’s clothes every night. I’m adding my own wardrobe now and it helps save time in the morning. I forgot to do it once and the next morning was a nightmare. I couldn’t find my blouse, which was stuck between two larger sweaters. I had to turn on the light to find my socks, which ticked off my hubby. You get the idea.

One of the local charities had a pickup day in our neighborhood yesterday. I took advantage of that to get rid of two boxes of clutter and an old baby mattress. They come through regularly, so if I put out a few things each time it'll slowly reduce the clutter in my house. I’ve almost taught my hubby to help me straighten up at night. He helps, but I still have to complain to get him started. I’ve got the laundry monster under control, thanks to my new high-efficiency washer and dryer. They hold so much that I only have to do laundry every other night to keep caught up, not every single day like I did before. Whoo hoo!

I haven’t finished reading It’s About Time! yet, but I’m enjoying the tips she has to offer. Her chapter on perfectionism as a procrastination habit was enlightening. My perfectionist traits obviously shine through when I’m so hard on myself. Sorry for all the whining lately.

Many thanks to Rita Emmett and The Procrastinator’s Handbook for getting me off my duff in the writing department. The idea that I was afraid of succeeding really hit home with me. That’s a lousy reason to put off finishing my novel. To Dennis Foley, thanks for not accepting excuses about why I can’t find time to write. And the FlyLady, little sweetie that she is – she’s taught me that I can do anything for 15 minutes.

Thus far into my self-improvement journey, here are my best tools:

1. Plan your family's wardrobe the night before
2. Plan your day by making realistic lists of what you need to accomplish
3. Keep getting rid of clutter by giving away or selling things you don’t need
4. Do laundry regularly during the week to avoid ruining your weekend
5. When things get overwhelming, set a timer for 15 minutes and get moving
6. Everything doesn’t have to be 100% perfect to be excellent

If I can get these techniques perfected, maybe I can add more. Hope springs eternal.

Back to the Basics

2008-04-29T21:28:00.005-05:00

I got tired of wallowing in self-pity and did something constructive. Reading all these books and beating myself up isn’t getting me anywhere. I went back to the basics: Stephen Covey. Oh, he’s sappy and his voice gets on my last nerve, but the advice and techniques are so good.

A couple of years ago, I checked an audio book of Mr. Covey's out of the library called FOCUS: Achieving your Highest Priorities. It made a big impact on me, more so than anything else I’ve tried lately. I couldn’t find the book at the library this time, so I had to buy a copy. Used, of course – gotta be able to put gas in the car, and we all know how painful that’s getting.

Anyway, I listened to it all the way through today and made a lot of notes to myself. My personal problem isn’t knowing my values or prioritizing my tasks, it’s the follow through that kills me. Or should I say, lack of follow through. So I’m taking the 21 day challenge suggested in the FOCUS course.

For the next 21 days, I’m going to plan my day and try to follow through as much as possible. Building a habit supposedly takes 21 days, so I'm going to try and eradicate my filthy procrastination habit and replace it with productivity. I’ll check in each day and give an honest assessment of my day. Starting in the middle of the week is weird, but who cares?

At least one thing is looking up for me - I'm keeping up with my novel class very well. One new good habit may already be on the way!

Grand Champion Procrastinator of the World!

2008-04-19T10:04:00.003-05:00

I’ve totally lost my grip on conquering procrastination. I’m a complete backslider and frustrated with myself. Every morning last week, I was completely stressed out by the time I got in my car to go to work. If I would only get things ready the night before, my life would be so much easier. Packing my lunch, choosing my clothes, and laying out my daughter’s clothes take about fifteen minutes. If I didn’t try to do it all in the morning, things would go so much more smoothly. Of course, I know this, so why can’t I JUST DO IT?

Let’s see - I don’t do it because: I have other things to do at night that are more important. I’m trying to finish my *&%$#)! book, but where the hell do I find the time? I’m exhausted by the time I sit down at night to write. Getting up earlier doesn’t seem feasible, since I would have to get up at 3:00 am to get any real work done. I write until my eyes literally start closing and my head starts nodding. By that time, I don’t want to go pack my lunch or anything else. Obviously, this can’t continue. I’m going to have to figure something out, and quick.

I scoured the shelves at Half Price Books a few days ago in search of more inspiration. I found It’s About Time! By Dr. Linda Sapadin with Jack Maguire and picked it up. In the first chapter, there’s a series of tests to determine your procrastination style. I knew already that I’m a Perfectionist Procrastinator, but I also scored high on the Dreamer and Crisis-Maker charts. High as in, I’m at the critical level on all three. If procrastination was a game, folks, I’d be a WINNER!

I’m such a piece of work. Sometimes I wonder how in hell everybody else considers me to be such a success. If they saw inside my mind, they’d be horrified.

But hey, I’m a winner at something, right? Grand Champion Procrastinator of the World! What a title.

The Ultimate Challenge to Build Anticrastination Skills

2008-04-06T11:17:00.008-05:00

I must be insane, but crazy in a good way. I signed up for a class to draft a novel in 70 days. The goal is to train yourself to write every day - hello, get rid of procrastination! But the biggest lesson I've learned so far is to always have a plan before you start. I'm guilty of not thinking about my writing at all until I sit down at my computer. No wonder I have a hard time getting started.

I'm building my anticrastination habit. I even wrote the day after a major thunderstorm kept me up half the night. Usually, I would have given myself a break and been a couch potato. Not any more, though. If I want to be a writer, I've gotta start thinking like one.

Dennis Foley is the instructor. His blog is at http://dennisfoley.blogspot.com/. I've only skimmed the surface, but he's posted excellent advice. Even when the class is over, I hope to keep reading his blog for inspiration.

Procrastinating About Not Procrastinating

2008-03-27T20:55:00.009-05:00

Okay, so I'm a backslider. I admit it! But I've been very busy. My hubby and I are starting a new business, check out http://www.letspartea.com/. I've been doing a lot of work to get ready for our first customers. Now if we could just FIND our first customers.

I've been doing an okay job of keeping the house picked up. We even started to clean out my husband's office, which has been the pit of doom for a couple of years now. We spent a grand total of 30 minutes in there last weekend. At least you can walk in there now without having to be a contortionist! The picture above is our "Before" picture. I hope to post a beautiful "After" someday. In the meantime, I see a lot of similarity between our room and the cartoon. It might be funny if it wasn't so darn sad!

I can't figure out what's worse, procrastinating or beating yourself up about procrastinating. It's an ugly cycle. I feel like a failure when I'm not perfect. Maybe I need to let up on myself a little.

Less Clutter = More Free Time

2008-03-15T20:35:00.007-05:00

I noticed an amazing phenomenon today – I’ve been able to get more done, because I’m having to do less. Instead of spending all day picking up the wreckage we left in our wake during the week, I’ve been able to concentrate on my writing. Each time I walk through the downstairs, I put away the things we’ve pulled out but not returned to their home. It’s taken two or three minutes each time to keep the house straight, not half a day like usual.

I got my house to this state of grace thanks to The Procrastinator’s Handbook and a home improvement project. Last week, we had new wood floors installed in our entire downstairs. I knew I was going to have to empty the rooms anyway, so I took the time to get rid of clutter as I went along. A few hundred pounds of stuff went to various charities over the last two or three weeks. Each box and bag seemed to take a weight off my shoulders as it left the house.

I haven’t gotten rid of everything that needs to go, not by any means. I had to take a break because the whole purging process is physically and mentally draining. First you have to pull out the item, then decide if you need it, where you’ll keep it, if it’s good enough to give away to charity, or if it’s pure trash. Sounds easy, at least until you do it a thousand times. I stopped before I got carried away. The feeling of freedom, of letting go of excess baggage, gets addictive after a while. I didn’t want to make rash decisions and regret them later.

In a couple of weeks, I’m going to go through the decluttering process again. In the meantime, I’m going to take stock of what my family actually uses, what we really need in our house on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. There are some things we only use once or twice a year, but we still have to keep them. I’m talking about ladders, hammers, humidifiers, thermometers, and things like that. Those are the things that truly need organization, probably more than the stuff we use every day. After all, what good is it to have a toilet plunger if you can’t find it? The stopped-up toilet would still overflow, but then you’d have to beat yourself up over not being organized enough to find the tool that would have prevented it. The mess would be bad enough without sprinkling an extra dose of guilt on top.

Something else happened today, something I’d hoped would happen but didn’t expect to feel so good. In the past, whenever our neighbors popped over unexpectedly, I usually wanted to crawl under the table and hide. Our dining room, living room, and kitchen are all joined into one continuous open space. When you stand at the front door, you can see all the way through to the back of the house, plus every toy, magazine, empty soda can, old newspaper, and dirty sock along the way. Invariably, it felt like the neighbors always seemed to catch us at our worst.

Today, though, when our neighbor came over to borrow a tool, the entire downstairs practically sparkled. It wasn’t picture perfect, but I was proud to have him see it. The new floors are beautiful, but the best part is how open and clean the space feels without all the clutter. We have a nice home, and now I’m prouder of it than ever.

I’ve put a lot of work into organizing my house lately, and in the process discovered a new mathematical formula. Less clutter plus less stress equals more free time and more confidence. This decluttering thing isn’t half bad!

Fear of Success?

2008-03-12T21:06:00.005-05:00

Once again, I've found something in The Procrastinator's Handbook that stopped me cold. I've been working on a novel for going on three years. It's pretty good, at least what I've finished so far. I haven't been working on it much lately, and I think I know why. I'm afraid it'll be good enough to sell, but I don't know how to do it.

This is a crazy form of procrastination, but I've totally fallen into the trap. First of all, I have to finish the darn thing, don't I? Second, the odds are firmly against me, since such a tiny percent of writers are ever published. But what if it was good enough, what then? Then I'd have to sell it, then book signings, tours, cashing royalty checks. Well, the check part isn't bad, but the rest terrifies me.

I've wanted to be a "real" writer all my life. I need to get past this hangup or I'll go crazy.

Endometriosis, Laparoscopy, Laparotomy, Hysterectomy

2008-03-10T21:47:00.008-05:00

I've recently shared a very personal story with a lovely lady named Amy Goerwitz. Amy's website helped me at a time in my life when I was desperately looking for answers. I've recently realized that I need to pay it forward. I don't want to procrastinate about helping others. If anybody stumbles onto this post someday, I hope this helps. It's only my story, not an endorsement of any type of medical treatment. Sometimes all you really need is a true, personal account of a medical situation to help you make your own decision. There's a lot of hype about hysterectomies on the web. I encourage you, if you're facing a medical decision, to educate yourself. That includes talking to women who've experienced the surgery.

And above all, consider this: who's more apt to write about a medical procedure - someone who's bitter and resentful, or someone who's happy with the outcome? My opinion is that angry people vent their spleen on the internet day and night, whatever the topic. Happy people are too busy living their lives to bother.

Rather than recount my whole story here, please visit Amy's website. I hope we help you in some small way.

http://goerwitz.name/drupal/endo/stories/Rhonda

Hey Dufus, Fill Your Car Up!

2008-03-07T16:08:00.005-06:00

Another day, another valuable organization lesson – always keep at least half a tank of gas in your car. Yesterday, we had a freak snowstorm here in our southern paradise. My office let out early, but I was in an important meeting and didn’t get to leave when everyone else did. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as I left, the storm worsened and traffic ground to a complete and utter halt. I sat literally two hours and went only two or three miles. I started with only a quarter tank of gas and was a nervous wreck the whole time. I got lucky and made it to my destination safely, but I saw a couple of other poor souls walking in the snow with gas cans. I would've offered them a ride, but they were going way faster than I was. Anyway, I’m writing a note to myself: Hey Dufus, Fill Your Car Up! Don't procrastinate about stopping for gas - you never know what's going to happen.

But some good news - as I type, we’re having new wood floors installed in our home. The fumes are getting to me, so if I’m not making good sense, I’m sorry! The house, as I expected, is a dusty, grimy mess. I’m not going to beat myself up over putting it back together, though. Instead, I’m going to go slowly and get rid of the clutter as I go. I had to empty the closet floors, clean off table tops, etc., so much of that stuff is out in the garage. This is a golden opportunity to declutter and get a fresh start. I’m not going to throw the junk back where it was and be done with it. That’s what I would have done in the old days, but this is Me 2.0, the upgraded version.

The Bitter Fruit of Procrastination

2008-03-02T21:08:00.005-06:00

I stand before you, doing the walk of shame. I just spent two whole days cleaning out my small home office. MY office, mind you, not the upstairs mess that is my husband’s. My little room is about 10 X 10 and is attached by one corner to my master bedroom. It’s a great idea, this little nook, but in my hands it’s been nothing but a mess.

Let’s see, how do I describe this weekend? Our bank accounts hadn’t been balanced since last June. At least I’d downloaded the transactions into my banking software, but I had to get on the bank’s website and pull down copies of dozens of cancelled checks. You know, little checks that we’ll need for our tax return, like records of tax payments, charitable donations and the like. Then I pulled together everything our accountant will need for our tax return. The entire process consumed at least eight hours of my life. EIGHT HOURS.

I probably would have spent at least eight hours over the last six months taking care of our banking anyway. But that would have been eight hours parceled out in 15 or twenty minute chunks, not one entire day of my life!

After finishing the banking, I moved on to file away or shred a small mountain of paper. After the last paper was gone, it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen our tickets to an upcoming production of Tuna Does Vegas. My husband and I are big fans of the Tuna plays and I bought some tickets months ago and tucked them away somewhere “safe.” After at least thirty minutes of frantic searching, during which I dumped out a trash can and went through it piece by piece, I finally found them. I’d put them in a basket of things to put away at least three weeks ago. The basket was still sitting there, untouched.

It’s good that I found the tickets, but why did I do this to myself? This, my friends, is the fruit of procrastination. A bitter fruit indeed, and one I don’t care to taste ever again.

I found this quotation tonight and agree with it wholeheartedly: “Every moment spent planning saves three or four in execution…Crawford Greenwalt.” If I’d had a plan for keeping our financial records organized, I’d have saved a lot of time today. Therefore, from now on I’m going to set aside one evening a week to take care of bills and household paperwork. I’d say I’d take care of things on Saturday, but I’ve been saying that for years and I never actually do it.

No more excuses! From henceforward, I’m going to catch up our banking every Wednesday evening. No more bitter fruit for me. Life’s going to be a bowl of cherries next year at tax time, not the pits.

What’s Your Excuse?

2008-02-28T20:01:00.013-06:00

Photo by Brett Rogers (http://www.beatcanvas.com/)

The Procrastinator’s Handbook

Chapter 2 :What’s Your Excuse?

Excuses, excuses, excuses. Back in 2005, I had a good excuse for being disorganized. I had a 10-month old baby and had just moved 500 miles with my job. When we moved into our new house, I was doing good just to get all the boxes unpacked. With only a week off work to get settled in, I honestly did not have time to set everything up perfectly. So I stuffed things into the guest room closets, the attic and the garage. The kitchen, living room, and dining room looked okay, but chaos was always lurking behind every door.

Fast forward to 2008. Three whole years have passed. Somehow the excuse “I haven’t had time to straighten out the house” just doesn’t cut it anymore. The last time that phrase crossed my lips, I felt so ashamed. That’s when I knew that I had to get a grip on my procrastination.

It sounds funny, but the first thing I had to do in order to take back control of my life wasn’t “getting organized,” it was losing weight. I’d never heard of the FlyLady at that point, but I’ve discovered that’s another of her themes. She talks about fat as “body clutter” that drags us down. She has a point, because I arrived at the same conclusion by sheer instinct.

I’d been procrastinating going on a diet and was still using the baby as an excuse for being overweight. That sounded good for a year, but when she turned 3 it began to be ridiculous. So, I joined Nutrisystem in September 2007 and lost 30 pounds. That statement sounds simple, and actually it was. Nutrisystem helped me by giving me a step-by-step plan and the tools I needed to get started. Having a plan makes all the difference. That experience taught me that I can take control of my life – I just need the proper tools and a good game plan.

So now my weight is under control and the FlyLady has given me a good framework to plan how to get my house back in order. However, my professional life is still a stressful mess. I think each job has unique organizational challenges. My job requires that I sift through mounds of information each day, piecing together small details to form an overall picture of criminal activity. Sounds glamorous, right up until you see the reams of paper covering my desk. Plus, I’m very much an “out of sight, out of mind” person. I’ve put papers away into folders before, but they seem to vanish and I never go back to them again. That whole system just doesn’t work for me, at least not in the manner I’m implementing it.

To compound my grief, the nature of my job means that I can’t take any paperwork home with me. Even taking notes in a planner is problematic, since most of my projects are sensitive. The Franklin Covey method of using a planner is to keep every scrap of information in one binder. I’d love to try that, but if my planner full of mysterious secrets ever got lost or stolen, it would be catastrophic. So I’m pretty much stuck with trying to work out an organizational system to cover two lives, one personal, one professional.

I’m tired of letting these obstacles stand in my way. No more excuses! I’m going to find a way to organize my desk and my work projects. I’m going to find a way to organize my financial records and taxes. I’m going to set up a planning system that encompasses my professional and private lives. I’m going to take back control of my life!

Getting a Grip on Procrastination: Tackling the Dread

2008-02-25T21:03:00.012-06:00

I dread, dread, dread doing my taxes this year! Why, you ask? Because I procrastinated and didn't properly organize our banking records last year, that's why. Most of the documents I need are filed away neatly, but I don't have all our bank accounts completely set up in Quicken. That's a real problem when your husband is self-employed and you have to pull numbers for business deductions. If I'd done the Quicken entry, then all I would have to do is run a few reports and turn everything over to our accountant. As it is, I'm looking at hours of monotonous work and a wasted vacation day - or two.

To give myself some credit, I did okay the first eight months of last year. By the last quarter, though, I fell down on the job. As a result, we'll need to go through the receipts by hand to find my husband's business expenses. Or I'll have to catch up on months of data entry to get to the point of being able to start running our numbers.

I've spent weeks - months, really - dreading having to play catch up. After reading Rita Emmett's chapter on Tackling the Dread, I wonder how much energy I've expended worrying vs. how much energy it would take to just get the job done?

So why am I procrastinating about this? What's the real problem? After much soul searching, I think a big reason is because I feel guilty for falling so far behind. I'm also resentful that I always have to be the one in our family who is responsible and handles our money. The irony is, I do our banking and bill paying because we both know my husband is irresponsible. So what do I want, for him to take it over? No!

Does any of this make any sense? Does procrastination ever make any sense? NO!

I've got to get off my patooty and get things done. I'm going to focus on how good I'm going to feel once the taxes are done. Then I'm going to give myself a reward of some kind for doing a good job. Don't know what that'll be, but after cleaning up months of financial chaos, I think I'll deserve a treat.

It's Not Murder if You Kill a Bad Habit.

2008-02-21T21:24:00.011-06:00

As much as I dearly love the Flylady, I still need inspiration in my professional life. I've benefited from her advice on how to declutter my house, set up cleaning zones, and keep my sink shiny. But who's around to kick my butt at the office when I start procrastinating? You know, when I'm just sitting at my desk and staring at the computer screen, with a two-inch deep pile of paper scattered all around me and my voicemail light blinking?

After several months of searching for inspiration, I've finally found some real help. The book is called The Procrastinator's Handbook - Mastering the Art of Doing it Now by Rita Emmett. It's a little eerie, actually, because sometimes it feels like she's reading my mind. Every chapter contains something that speaks to me. I want to read it again, then I'm going to go through the book point by point and try to straighten myself out. I've put a link to Ms. Emmett's website here on my blog. Check it out!

My new mantra:

Let the Anticrastinator in me rise up and defeat the evil-doer! Procrastination must die!

Checkup - New Year's Resolutions

2008-02-20T21:38:00.008-06:00

Now that the first two months of 2008 are almost over, it's time to check up on my New Year's Resolutions. The reason many people fail miserably at keeping their resolutions is because they never stop to evaluate their progress. I don't want to make that mistake. Just so you know, my resolutions were to:

1. Get organized
2. Clean up my house
3. Send family birthday cards on time

Yes, only three things. I figured it would take the whole year to accomplish any one of these tasks, so I kept it simple. Why depress myself by adding a long list of impossible goals on top of my already guilt-ridden, time-starved self?

As you can see, my three goals are closely related. If I get organized and use my time wisely, I can clean up my house and send out birthday cards to my family on time. To be honest, I think I've made a lot of progress so far. I've thrown out a few hundred pounds of junk - seriously! As a result, my house is looking better. And I've only been late with one birthday card so far. See, I'm making progress!

How are your New Year's Resolutions coming along? Don't beat yourself up if you're coming up short. The year is only 1/6th over, you still have 5/6ths of the year left to reach your goals!

Clutter-Busting 101: The Big Purge Begins

2008-02-19T09:49:00.013-06:00

The Home Front

Wow, what a week! One piece of advice I’ve taken to heart lately is this: You can’t organize clutter. Meaning, if you’ve got a lot of useless crap in your house, you can’t really get organized. Once I decided to get rid of the stuff my family doesn’t need, I couldn’t seem to stop. My mantra was: Do I use it, do I need it, do I want to haul it around for the rest of my life? If the answer was no, it had to go.

As a result of the big purge, I’ve sent at least 20 trash bags full of nice, useable things to our local Goodwill store. I made a true effort to only send items that were in good shape and still useful. Somebody out there will want that stuff, just not me. As the old saying goes, one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure – I hope whoever ends up with our stuff enjoys it and is blessed!

Even though I’ve gotten rid of so much excess baggage, I’ve just scratched the surface of what I need to do. I haven’t even started on the attic, the garage, or my husband’s messy office. I can’t do another marathon purging like I did this weekend, though. I don’t have time – and I’m still sore from hauling out those heavy trash bags! So from here forward, I need to keep reminding myself that I don’t have to do everything at once. Taking baby steps will eventually get me to the finish line just a surely as taking huge strides, it’ll just take a little longer.

The Mommy Front

I pulled off a fun 4th birthday party for my daughter last week. We had a tea party in her Montessori preschool class. I rented a “tea trunk” that had a silver tea pot, real china cups, some beautiful dresses, shoes, hats, glove, and all the accessories. I let the kids pour the tea (really pink lemonade) and was surprised at how well they did.

The Office Front

My desk is still an abysmal mess. Must work on that!

Learning to Pick Up After Yourself

2008-02-05T20:25:00.001-06:00

One of the keys to getting organized is learning to pick up after yourself. But what about when you have to pick up after everybody else? Short of spending the rest of my life nagging, I’ll never get my chronically messy, ADHD husband to clean up his own messes. Sure, he’ll help if I complain long enough, but he never thinks to do it on his own.

The best way I can describe my hubby is – think of Pigpen in the Charlie Brown cartoons. Don't worry, I've told him this to his face and he's okay with it. I mean, this is a man who wads up his dirty socks and sticks them on top of the refrigerator. When I ask why he would possibly think that’s a good idea, he says he’s not even aware he’s doing it. From his point of view, he just has stuff in his hands that’s inconvenient. Wherever there’s a flat surface, that’s where the stuff goes. Even if it’s the top of the refrigerator.

It also doesn’t help much that we both have packrat tendencies. Why, oh why do we keep the broken coffee pot when we buy a new one? Do we somehow believe it will magically repair itself someday? The best advice I’ve ever read about de-cluttering your house is this: Ask yourself, do I want to be responsible for this object for the rest of my life? If it’s broken, old, worn-out, ugly, or I just don’t like it, why do I want to keep it? Because Aunt Betty Sue gave it to me twenty years ago just isn’t a good enough reason, ladies. I mean, if it bothers you that much to get rid of it, give it back to Aunt Betty Sue. She’ll probably never remember that she gave it to you in the first place.

So, new plan of action – when something new comes into the house, the old one goes out. If it’s still usable, it goes to Goodwill or some other charity. Or maybe I’ll sign up to use http://www.freecycle.org/ and give it away to somebody who actually wants it. And if it’s broken, by golly, it’s going straight to the recycle bin or the dump.

And like I vowed in my previous post, I won’t PROCRASTINATE about doing it, either!

"Laziness is a Terrible Disease"

2008-02-02T21:33:00.001-06:00

Okay, ladies, I have a problem that I battle every day – procrastination. At least, I think it’s procrastination. Sometimes I tell myself I have so much to do that my mind can’t process it. You know, when you feel like you need to do everything at once, but end up sitting and staring at the wall instead. Other times I have to consider the possibility that I’m suffering from plain old laziness.

I had an old boss who used to tell me that “Laziness is a terrible disease.” At 24, I thought he was being silly. At 41, I know how right he was. Laziness, procrastination, lack of motivation. No matter what you call it, I’m not getting the things done that I want to do.

Lest you think I’m always lazy, let me assure you that I’m not. I wouldn’t have such a successful career if that were true. However, my personal life sometimes feels like it's in shambles. I have a novel that’s half-finished because I tell myself I’m too tired to work on it. My house has clutter and is terminally messy because I can never get motivated to throw things out. And let’s not even talk about the sad state of my personal paperwork. The thought of pulling together our taxes gives me a headache already.

One of my biggest problems is that I never have a goal on the weekends. I just float along on Saturday and Sunday without a thought in my head. Well, that’s got to change. From now on, every weekend needs a list of attainable goals. Not a pie-in-the-sky list, like “clean out my closets” or “finish my taxes.” No, I need to be specific. Maybe “weed out my old shoes” or “find as many tax documents as I can and throw them in one folder” would be reasonable. Then during the week or next weekend I can move on to the next step.

Maybe if I broke everything down into smaller pieces, I could get past feeling guilty for not finishing the whole project in one afternoon. Doing my taxes sounds so horrible that I don’t want to start. However, finding a bunch of papers doesn’t sound so bad. Neither does sorting them out to see what’s missing.

So, my first steps toward ridding myself of procrastination and guilt will be:

Set one - Break projects down into small steps.
Step two - Congratulate myself for achieving each goal.
Step three - When I finish the whole project, celebrate my accomplishment.

Working Moms of America, let’s unite and get organized!

2008-02-01T11:14:00.002-06:00

I joined the FlyLady’s e-mail group in January and have found her advice to be helpful. Unfortunately, most of it just doesn’t apply to me because I’m not a stay-at-home wife and mother. I get the e-mails about my laundry, my dinner, wearing my shoes, but I can’t do anything about them sitting in my cubicle at work.

I’ve also spent hours reading inspirational home and office organization books and business management books. I’ve read way more about time management than a human should. I’ve bought day planners of every kind – little, big, zippers, flaps, note pads, and calculators. Sorry, Mr. Covey, but trying to corral my life takes more than a fancy calendar.

Not bragging here, but I have an intense job and make almost 6-figures. I have a housekeeper who comes over every other week to knock the cooties back. While I dearly love my housekeeper's help, I still have two weeks of CHAOS in between cleanings. My house is a mess, my desk is a wreck, I always have piles of laundry, and to top it all off, I’m trying to write a novel. I need a FlyLady for the over-achieving, over-whelmed, and over-loaded working mom. But where is she?

This morning I decided: I’ll be the person who pulls myself up by my bootstraps and tries to bring others along with me. I started a blog that I have no idea what to do with, but now I’ve found a topic worthy of writing about.

Working Christian moms of the world, let’s unite and get organized! Let’s hug our kids and send them forth to daycare or school without guilt. Let’s inspire our spouses to help us keep the house clean by setting a shining example for them to emulate. Let’s keep the laundry hamper empty, the dishwasher unloaded, the toilet clean and the sink shiny. Let’s clean off our desks, get organized, be productive, and make ourselves a formidable force in the workplace. Let’s scrounge up the time and energy to write that novel and get it published, or whatever it is that you want to do. And above all, let's devote our time and energy into reading God's word and living the way He would have us do.

Above all, let’s not feel guilty when we can’t do it all perfectly. We can’t have everything, but we can prioritize and have everything that’s really important to us.

Working Christian Moms of America, if you’d like to join me, come on along. There's strength in numbers. Let's Unite and Conquer whatever stands between us and the organized life we want.